A lonely frog
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.His Personal Psychic（灵媒，巫师） Advisor tells him "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everythi
Kangaroos and the Cage 袋鼠与笼子
One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem--how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage. They came to the conclusion that the cage was placed too low
A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howl（嚎叫） along dismally（沉闷地） .Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and
Three Turtles 三只乌龟
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."The little turtle replied
The value of a second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll（漫步，闲逛） with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched（蹲伏，蜷缩） behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about（吹嘘，炫耀） their bravery and toughness.The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"The second says, "Well I'm so tough
"We have a skunk（臭鼬） in the basement," shrieked（尖叫） the caller to the police dispatcher（警察调度员） . "How can we get it out?""Take some bread crumbs（面包碎屑） ," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trai
The cheese and the mouse
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap（捕鼠器） . The s
A preacher is buying a parrot 传教士买鹦鹉
A preacher is buying a parrotAre you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.Do you see those strings on his legs?
I cant let him get away 不能让他跑了
I Cant Let Him Get Away A male crab（螃蟹） met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I
Purpose of the Dog
A Sunday School helper was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began
Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to relieve himself late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at
This rich man died and left in his will that when his dog died he was to have a funeral and who ever did the funeral would get a million dollars.
When the dog died--the executor s
How Many Dogs Does It Take
How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about
Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"
Does Your Dog Bite
There was a hound dog laying in the yard. An old man in overalls was sitting on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" the tourist asked.
The old man replied, "Nope.
The Bar Mitzvah
Two bees ran into each other. One asked the other how things were going. "Really bad," said the second bee, "the weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I
The Amazing Pet
man went into a pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy a pet. But, he didn't want your ordinary, garden variety pet! No, he wanted a pet that could do everything!
The shop o
Seeing Eye Chihuahua
here's a guy with a Doberman Pincer and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pincer says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
Goodbye Ugly Suit
hen the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, s
ccording to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.
The bands used to bea
famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.
He knows that the saucer is
Life as a Female Bear
f you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with t
Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other "I can't understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainer
How to Tell the Weather
o Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is
Gone to the Dogs
There was this man that had a dog. He came home one day, and his dog was belly up with its legs sticking in the air.
He wasn't sure if it was dead or not, so he took it to the vet