How to Escape a Story Repeater 如何摆脱一个话痨
Your father-in-law is telling you that story about foiling the pickpocket in Moscow -- for the fifth time. Do you let him know you’ve heard it before and can tell it better than he does? “If the story is longer than a minute and the two of you are alone, do interrupt to tell him that you’ve heard — and enjoyed — that story once before,” says Margaret Shepherd, a coauthor of The Art of Civilized Conversation. Try: “You had everyone in stitches when you told that story last christmas.” No need to add that you’ve heard the story for the last four christmases. “Segue to a related topic,” suggests Shepherd, and if possible, draw in another person to freshen up the conversation.
你的岳父正给你讲述他在莫斯科挫败扒手的故事-——已经能是第五次了。你要告诉他你以前就听过，而且你能比他说得还溜吗？“如果故事时间超过一分钟，并且在场只有你们两人，那还是打断一下，告诉他你听过一次，也喜欢听这段故事。“ 这是Margaret Shepherd给人们的建议。Margaret Shepherd是《文明谈话艺术》一书的合著者。你可以试着说：”去年您在过圣诞节时讲的时候，大家都笑得合不拢嘴“，你就别说这四年来每次圣诞节都听这故事了。Shepherd建议：“用一个相关话题顺着接下去”，如果可能，再拉一个人过来，增加谈话的内容。
With older people whose memory may be slipping or when you’re in a group, though, it can be cruel to interrupt, says author Letitia Baldrige: “Patiently listen and wait for a chance to change the subject. If they’re thrilled to be telling the story, dismissing them too suddenly is like smooshing an ant.”
How to Escape Being in the Wrong restaurant 如何逃离“错餐馆”
You’ve been seated, they’ve given you water and bread, and you decide — because the place is a bit grimy or too expensive, or nothing on its menu is appealing — that you want to leave. Can you just get up and go? “My policy is never to settle when it comes to food,” says Danyelle Freeman, a restaurant reviewer for New York’s Daily News and the founder of the website restaurantgirl.com. “If you feel like you’ve made a bad choice, cut your losses and quietly exit. If the restaurant has already put water and bread on the table, they’ve technically begun service, so you should perhaps leave a small tip.”
If your server catches you on the way out, Freeman says, “graciously thank the person and briefly explain that you’re looking for something lighter, more casual, or whatever else the restaurant isn’t.” Don’t linger making excuses. “At the end of the day,” says Freeman, “it’s your money.”
你已经座了下来。有人给你上水和面包，然后——因为这个地方有点不太干净或价格太贵，或者菜单上没什么能让你感兴趣——于是，你决定离开。能站起来就走吗？Danyelle Freeman说：“我的原则是，吃绝不能将就。” Danyelle Freeman是纽约日报新闻的一位餐馆评论员及网站restaurantgirl.com的创办者。 “如果觉得进错了地方，就及时打住，安静地离开。如果餐馆人员已经上了水和面包，那么，严格地说，就已经开始对你服务了，所以你应该留一笔小数目的小费。”
Freeman 说，如果在离开的时候被服务员发现，那么"礼貌地谢谢那个人，简短说自己想去一个更明亮、更随意，或者任何和这家不同的地方。"不要逗留在原处找借口，再怎么说，钱到底怎么花，还是你自己说了算。“ Freeman说。
How to Escape a Sermon 如果逃避一位“说教者”
You may escape faster—and avoid future rants — if you take a moment to hear the person out, says author Margaret Shepherd: “Don’t debunk their beliefs, tease, ignore, argue, scoff, or demean. They’ll just try harder to convince you.” Let the person spew for a couple of minutes before you introduce a neutral subject or make your exit.
Offensive rants—racist, misogynist, or obscene — are an exception. In those cases, cut the speaker off as soon as possible with a simple “Excuse me — I’ve got to go.” If the sermon takes place at work and other people are present, enlist their help. “They probably don’t want to hear it either,” says author Anne Fisher. After listening to the lecturer for a minute or two, say, “It’s interesting you feel so strongly about that, Joe. Hey, Sally, what did you think about the sales meeting last week?” Unless the person “is a total bonehead,” says author Anne Fisher, “he or she will take the hint.”
那些带有进攻性的长篇大论的人——种族主义者，厌恶女人的人，猥亵的人——则是例外。这时候，用最简单的话”劳驾，我要走了“来终止谈话。如果这种说教发生在办公场所，在场有其他人，那么请求他人帮助。”他们可能也不愿听，“ 作家Anne Fisher说。在听了一两分钟之后，你可以说：”真有趣，你对这感觉这么强烈。张三，李四，王二，你们对上周的销售会议怎么看？“ 除非那人是一个彻底的榆木脑袋，不然肯定会知趣。
How to Escape an Inebriated Coworker 如何逃离一位醉酒后的同事
An after-work drink with the new assistant sounded like fun, but three drinks later she is anything but. Can you ditch her? “No,” says author Anne Fisher. “Leaving a drunk to fend for herself could be dangerous, especially if he or she is planning to drive. You must either pour this person into a taxicab or drive him or her home.” Use any excuse you’d like to call it a night. (“I have so much to get ready for tomorrow.” “I’ve got to feed the dog.” “My mother phones me at 11 pm and I have to be home for her call.”)
To mitigate any morning-after awkwardness with someone you’ll continue to see, shrug off her own comments about being embarrassed (don’t rub it in) and extend an occasional lunch invitation, says Fisher. Make sure you go “someplace that doesn’t serve anything stronger than iced tea.” And remember: Lots of people are “instant idiots” (just add alcohol) but fine company when sober.
How to Escape a Run-In with a Long-Lost “Pal” 如何逃离和多年不见的“老友”的相遇
If you barely have enough time for the friends you have now, be wary of taking on someone you haven’t missed that much and nip this encounter in the bud — nicely, of course. During the initial meeting, show some enthusiasm — “GREat to see you!” — but don’t overdo it. “Don’t even vaguely suggest having lunch if your gut feeling is ‘Get me out of here,’” says author Margaret Shepherd.
If the person insists on a “date” and keeps calling or e-mailing to follow up, Shepherd suggests spelling out the terms you can live with: location (close to you), duration (short), purpose (Is it strictly personal, or is there a business motive?). Also, be direct about anything you don’t want to discuss. (“I’d love to catch up on what you’re doing, but if we’re going to talk about that horrible personnel manager one more time, let’s call it off.”) Meet with the person once, and keep in mind that you don’t have to see him or her again if your opinion hasn’t changed.