It’s not easy meeting new people, especially if you feel particularly shy. It is much easier to just walk by a person and never make eye contact. This may be OK at the store, but what if you’re at a convention, a trade fair or even a local festival. That person that you just walked past could be a valuable contact. Or they could know someone you want to know. They also could be a jerk. But you’ll never know unless you put yourself out there and find out for sure.
结识新朋友并不容易,如果你又是个害羞的人,那就更难了。直接从别人身边经 过并避开眼神接触要自在得多。倘若这是在商店,那倒也无所谓;但若是参加会议、商展或当地节日,可就不太好了,你刚刚经过的那个人说不定就是潜在人脉,或 许他们甚至认识你一直想结识的人,当然,他们也可能只是傻逼。可是,除非主动跟人搭话,否则你永远也不知道他们究竟是怎样的人。

Will some people reject you and not want to talk to you? Yes. But who cares? For every 10 people you talk, one or two of them could become valuable connections — or lifelong friends. What have you got to lose?
Here are a few ways you can overcome your fear and turn strangers into new connections:

1. Say “Hi.”
Just say “Hi,” to someone. You’d be amazed at how quickly you get a friendly response. When I worked in restaurants, we often had rules like, “say hello within a minute of someone walking in” or “answer the phone within three rings.”
Practice with people wherever you are – the grocery store, the bank, the farmers’ market. Just say “hello” and smile. You’ll be amazed by how many people respond.

2. Look Approachable
How you look and act says a lot about how people react to you. No, this doesn’t mean you have to wear a coat and tie. In fact, being in more relaxed clothing might make you seem more approachable. Your body language is key. Are slumped over, looking at the ground? Straighten up! Look ahead and make eye contact with people as you walk by, even if you don’t stop to talk.
When someone is near you, make sure you look receptive. Don’t cross your arms over your chest. Instead, put your arms down, or behind your back, making your body look more open. Smile or at least relax your face so you don’t look tense.

3. Assume the other person is shy
So if you’re shy and they’re shy, how are you going to meet? Well, since you’re the one reading this article, you have the advantage and can assume the other person is too shy to say anything. So, overcome your fear and walk over to them. Talk about the weather or baseball or if they’re holding a book or magazine, ask what they’re reading. You’d be amazed at how many connections are made by simply saying, “some weather we’re having, huh?”
如果你很害羞,对方也很害羞,相互还怎么去认识呢?既然你看到了这篇文章, 何不学学这招:假设对方太害羞,都不敢轻易开口讲话。这样,你便能战胜恐惧,勇敢向对方走去了。你可以先谈谈天气或棒球,如果对方手里拿着书或杂志,那就 问问他在读什么。你会讶然发现,其实有时候一句简单的“天气真糟糕,是吧?”就能开启一段新友谊。

4. Practice
Just like anything else, you can’t get good at something until you practice it. Take the opportunity, wherever you are, to talk to strangers (yes, I know what your mother said. I say the same thing to my kids). You will probably feel awkward at first. Perhaps even a little bit silly. But you will find that after a while, it becomes almost second nature to talk with people at the store or the park.
和其他事情一样,交朋友也需要“熟能生巧”。不管什么时候,只要有机会就请 尝试跟陌生人搭话。(好吧,我知道你老妈告诉过你什么,因为我也跟我家小孩说过不要和陌生人说话。)刚开始你可能会觉得怪怪的,甚至有点蠢不拉几;但过不 了多久你会发现,跟商店或公园里的陌生人攀谈几乎成了自来熟的事儿!

5. Find common ground
While you’re chatting with someone, pay attention to the things they seem to like — or notice where you are. If you’re at the car parts store, ask about their car interests. If you’re at the farmers’ market, ask if they have a garden. Find out if they have kids, go fishing, whatever. Most likely, you will have something to talk with this new person about.

6. Decide if you’re interested in pursuing
At the end of a conversation, you have to decide whether or not you want to pursue this relationship. If you do, present the person with your card or ask for theirs. Alternatively, ask for an email address or Facebook connection. Say something cheery like, “we should meet up sometime and talk more.” If you don’t want to pursue this connection, just be gracious, say “good talking to you.” And chalk up the conversation up to experience.


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